


Incognito

by zhgyin (feihart)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Appearance by Jung Taekwoon Leo (VIXX) Kim Jongdae Chen the bff (EXO) Kim Minseok Xiumin, Crack, Crack-ish, Crack?, Gen, Krisbaek Round 2016, M/M, Mentions of pornography (no graphic descriptions), Prompt 98, entry, office!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8937430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feihart/pseuds/zhgyin
Summary: Byun Baekhyun maybe has a little too much faith in the browser’s Incognito Tab.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm cross-posting this from the krisbaek website! Finally! haha It's a small snippet from something I wanted to expand but I didn't for reasons lol I hope you enjoy! ^^)/

If Byun Baekhyun has to pick a movie to represent his life, he’d have to launch a full, dedicated Google search to first find a movie, because he can’t think of one off the top of his head. And because he’s bored, he has done it. So, now, if Baekhyun has to choose a movie that well depicts his life after his strenuous research, and after Youtubing the office clips, he’d probably pick _The Incredibles_. It’s not entirely accurate, but some days, when he’s particularly moody, he can feel Bob Parr on a spiritual level. Except he doesn’t entirely hate his job and his boss isn’t a total Bitch.  
  
  
If this is the introductory scene to his mundane office life, the camera would snap to different angles. First to his right, where he can catch sight of one Zhang Yixing, team member of the Communications Department and responsible for taking potential client calls, barely glance at the telephone on his desk before blatantly and consciously ignoring what could be a Very Important Call. Background music: the obnoxious three-part ring he can’t even reproduce through text. He’s thankful their new business isn’t booming yet, so one call comes every, like, twenty minutes.  
  
The camera snaps back to his face as he glances to his left. Briefly, passing by only long enough to catch a glimpse of the contempt in his expression in those brief seconds before angling to his left. Debra Schaffer, the Korean-American woman also member of the Communications Team, is standing by the photocopy-and-break room almost mirroring Baekhyun’s expression. She looks trapped, a little desperate and a lot irritated, and like she’s looking for a quick escape from their floor manager, who is, undoubtedly, pursuing a pathetic attempt at flirting with her.  
  
Back again to Baekhyun, whose face is pinched in sympathy (or whichever -pathy allows him to feel sorry but still leaves him detached). Their floor manager has been pining after Debra ever since he laid eyes on her at their first ever staff party a few months ago. She’s never hidden her disinterest in the sleazy man, her actions and body language clear in their implication, but the man is annoyingly persistent. Baekhyun’s face morphs from contempt to sheepish; even as a bystander, it hurts to see his attempts fall short.  
  
Baekhyun considers getting up to go fake-ask Debra about a fake affair he has no business fake-asking questions about, and he knows she’d take the bait easily, but thankfully Kim Heechul steps in and sweeps her away - almost literally - without sparing his supervisor a glance. Great. This is great.  
  
He turns his attention, then, to the cubicle directly in front of him. The divide isn’t so high that he can’t see over it, but his desk mate is hunched so lowly over his documents, Baekhyun can only glimpse the curve of his back, and sometimes the crown of his jet black hair when Jung Taekwoon looks up to stare (intensely, might he add) at his computer screen, his framed eyes searching, focused. Baekhyun narrows his eyes at him. He honestly doesn’t think he’s ever gotten a good full look of his desk mate's face - he’s in promptly at 7:00 AM (Baekhyun imagines not a minute late, as he comes in at 8:00), and out faster than the Flash by 3:30 PM. He walks so fast, and so quietly, Baekhyun only ever notices him when he’s already staring at his retreating (or rather, escaping?) back. Or when he does his mental floor sweeps, as he is now.  
  
On the regular, though, Baekhyun has no idea what Taekwoon could possibly be working on. Their little internet start-up company isn’t started well enough to have a lot of business to handle. And Baekhyun should know, because in his lead web designer, he should be a lot busier. But he has so much free time.  
  
_So much. Free time._  
  
It amazes him just how much free time he has, but he takes full advantage of it.  
  
He looks back to his generic computer screen backdrop and sinks low in his seat, throwing furtive glances around him. The caution isn’t really necessary as his cubicle is closed off, and his activity can’t really be seen unless someone walks by and purposely peers over (but no one in the office ever really bothers leaving their stations).  
  
He glances at the digital clock in the right-hand bottom corner of his screen. 12:24 PM. Perfect. The moment is opportune, he thinks, as most everyone else in the office is scattered or away for lunch. Baekhyun grins, bringing his hand to his mouse. He right-clicks on the Internet browser. With all this time on his hands, he figures he can have a little fun at work. Indulge a little in a guilty pleasure.  
  
Baekhyun isn’t worried about being caught, but he doesn’t need anyone to know about his latest obsession. He chuckles under his breath as he clicks the Incognito Tab option, and a black screen with a cool-looking detective logo pops up. He reduces the size of the browser, and keeps it tucked in the corner of his screen, then takes out his earphones from his messenger bag to plug them into the computer.  
  


 

*

  
  
When Baekhyun does things he isn’t supposed to do, especially while on the clock, he tells a very select couple of individuals:  
  
(1) Kim Jongdae, his favourite co-worker, and more unfortunately according to him, his long-time friend and favourite victim for his many annoying pranks;  
(2) Kim Minseok - which, admittedly, would be a mistake considering he’s basically his boss’ right-hand man. But past experiences have revealed that Minseok probably doesn’t share these things with his boss, because Baekhyun never gets reprimanded when he expects to. Also, seeing the irritated yet resigned look Minseok shoots him every time is especially rewarding.  
  
Jongdae really has no interest in sharing what strange knowledge Baekhyun has for him because, and he quotes, “There are things about you, Baekhyun, even I don’t want other people to know.”  
  
So Baekhyun is assured that when he tells these two about his ventures onto the darker side of the Internet, they will be the only ones to know.  
  
But they’re not the only ones who know.  
  
Wu Yifan knows too, and honestly, Baekhyun’s life is a mediocre indie movie and he should have seen his character introduction coming.  
  
When Baekhyun walks into work that morning (fifteen minutes later than he was meant to arrive, though he digresses), he immediately senses the change: the room is brighter, the blinds having been drawn all the way, and there’s a huge yellow ‘Welcome!’ sign hung on the slightly less-yellow wall. He quickly does a floor sweep: Taekwoon is absent from his desk, instead posing with a cake for Jongdae; Yixing is currently on a call; and his boss’ office door is wide open, almost in a welcoming manner, which is strange because she almost never wants to see anyone.  
  
The only normal occurrence is the floor manager hitting on Debra at her desk, her eyes rolled so far back into her head, Baekhyun is afraid she might hurt herself.  
  
“Oh, my god,” he says as he approaches Taekwoon, “I thought you were glued to your desk between seven and three.”  
  
Taekwoon responds with a frown, and then says quietly, “Can I put this cake down? My arms are sore.” Jongdae chuckles and dismisses him.  
  
Baekhyun sticks his finger in the icing as his co-worker walks by. “What’s the cake for?” he asks, sucking on the icing on his finger. Jongdae grimaces at him.  
  
“If you’d read your email, you’d know we’re welcoming a new staff member today.”  
  
Baekhyun doesn’t read his emails ever, but he starts thinking that maybe he should after he meets -  
  
“Wu Yifan.” The man is tall, _very_ tall, and smiles with all of his pearly-whites on display. Baekhyun briefly thinks he might be glowing. He offers his hand to Jongdae first, who shakes it and introduces himself, then to Baekhyun. “New Head of the IT Department.”  
  
“Sounds like you have a lot of work,” Baekhyun comments, to which Yifan shrugs. “I’m Byun - ”  
  
“ - Baekhyun?” the new man finishes, and both Jongdae and Baekhyun are startled.  
  
He retracts his hand. “Do you know me?”  
  
“No,” Yifan says, which confuses Baekhyun. He narrows his eyes at him and he continues, “I only know about you. Through your Internet history.”  
  
“My...Internet history?”  
  
“Yeah,” Yifan answers, voice light, “your obscene searches in the last week definitely stuck out to me.”  
  
At this point, Baekhyun has no idea what he’s referring to, so he asks him, feeling both impressed and unsettled, “Are you cyber-stalking me?”  
  
“What?” And Yifan seems genuinely surprised by his question. “No. I’m doing my job when you’re...looking up ponies.”  
  
Baekhyun and Jongdae catch on at the same time, but react differently; Baekhyun can feel the heat of embarrassment creeping up his throat, while his friend next to him struggles to keep himself from laughing.  
  
Great. This is great.  
  
It takes several tries for Baekhyun to say something, anything, to explain himself.  
  
“Listen,” and it’s not Baekhyun who says it even though he’s opened his mouth, to explain to the new guy that he’s not as strange as his search history, because he’s stunned into silence - and very _few_ people manage to render him so - but Debra who says this, looking at their floor manager with a Stern Look a little ways away from them. She took the words right out of his mouth. Baekhyun licks his lips nervously - distraught, rather, because Baekhyun rarely ever gets nervous. He says, _“Listen -”_  
  
And before he can come up with a proper excuse, an explanation for what he’d seen, the boss sweeps Yifan away with a, “Looks like you’ve met everybody,” to discuss important work-related business. Baekhyun is stunned again, and Jongdae barks out a laugh as the CEO’s office door closes behind Yifan.  


 

*

  
  
  
Two hours later, Jongdae still hasn’t stopped laughing at Baekhyun. The asshole told Minseok too, who’d replied with a serious, “Serves you right for misusing workplace resources.” And that stuck with him, because the whole thirty-some minutes Yifan and the boss were in conference, Baekhyun kept thinking, _What if he told her?_  
  
Could that potentially result in the termination of his contract? Baekhyun doesn’t know, and not knowing _stresses_ him out. Not knowing meant every time he hears the click-clacking of his boss’ pumps before seeing her, he hides. He can’t live like this.  
  
And while he’s sure he’s made a lasting impression on his new co-worker, this is not the way he wants to be remembered. He will not be defined by his Internet searches.  
  
More than anything, though, he needs to know how Wu Yifan could have possibly known what he’d research because, upon checking his history (he likes to make sure he’s well covered his tracks, okay?), Baekhyun recalls having used the Incognito Tab.  
  
_The Incognito Tab._ That, like, assured protection from office-shenanigan security attacks like this.  
  
Baekhyun tells Yifan as much when he stomps over to his side of the office. He slams his hand against the wooden desk, which, admittedly, is a mistake, because now his hand is throbbing, but it effectively garners Yifan’s attention. The man looks up from his papers, then up again to see Baekhyun’s attempt at keeping a Serious Expression.  
  
“Cough it up,” he says, and because Yifan has no idea what he’s talking about, he raises an eyebrow. Baekhyun extends his other hand as if he wants Yifan to give him something. “How did you know about my research?”  
  
Yifan makes a sound between a snort and a laugh, and it sounds very close to a pig’s oink. “You mean your My Little Pony - ”  
  
“Oh, my god,” Baekhyun whispers sharply, leaning over his desk, disrupting the neat organization of Yifan’s papers to cover his ears and glare at him. He looks over his shoulder to make sure nobody can easily eavesdrop on their conversation, and he’s relieved to see that Jongdae isn’t at his desk, and Debra is rolling her eyes toward the open photocopy-and-break room, where their supervisor can be seen sobbing over his lunch. As Baekhyun shushes him, he starts to understand why Jongdae keeps to himself whatever embarrassing things he shares with him. “Don’t tell the whole office. _Don’t tell my boss._ ”  
  
Baekhyun’s sort of panicked state makes Yifan laugh. “You’re so strange,” he says, but Baekhyun doesn’t seem to hear him.  
  
“How did you even find out?” Baekhyun asks him. “I was on Incognito. _Incognito._ ”  
  
Yifan laughs again, tugging an important paper from under Baekhyun’s elbow. He needs to get him off his desk, so he takes Baekhyun by the arms and lifts him up and away. Baekhyun takes the hint and stands. “That’s cute,” he says, “you think Incognito keeps you safe from me.”  
  
Baekhyun exaggerates a gasp. “That’s creepy,” he breathes.  
  
“It’s not creepy, it’s my job.” Yifan shoots him a grin, and the room is glowing again. God, his teeth are so white, it hurts. Baekhyun squints against the glare.  
  
“Listen,” he tries again, and this time he will explain himself, because he doesn’t need the new guy’s first impression of him to be what wild, obscene inquiry he had.  
  
“Baekhyun,” Yifan says, gathering stray papers and putting them in a neat file, “it’s fine. I’m not judging you.”  
  
“Oh,” Baekhyun says, and he is relieved, though some part of him thinks that Yifan still is secretly judging him.  
  
“I mean, I am” - Baekhyun _knew it_ \- “but not enough to report it to your boss.”  
  
“I can live with that,” he answers earnestly, and he really can.  
  
Yifan laughs at him. “Okay. Honestly, I’m just glad it wasn’t Teen Titans tentacle porn because I don’t need to see that again.”  
  
Baekhyun gasps, exaggerated. “That exists?” he whispers. Yifan looks up at him briefly and nods grimly.  
  
“I’ve,” he says, “searched it.”  
  
Baekhyun thinks Yifan might be blushing, red, like he’s embarrassed to be making this admission, but a little too proud to show it as he distracts himself with reorganizing trinkets on his desk. And Baekhyun doesn’t think his heart has ever swelled so much because he thinks Yifan is trying to save him from embarrassing himself any further.  
  
Honestly, only in Baekhyun’s low-grade indie movie of a life does he make friends with people after bonding over their shared interest of wild porn web searches.  
  
Yifan clears his throat. “So, uh, lunch?”  
  
Great. This is great, Baekhyun thinks, the start of an interesting friendship.

**Author's Note:**

> And then they continued bonding. It was beautiful. 
> 
> First off, I’m sorry!!! If this!!! Is lacking!!! This is but an abridged version of the super dragged out version I had originally drafted, but I find this is just enough. I wanted to do more with it, but limited time and skill did not allow it ahaha. I hope you enjoyed! I’ll let you imagine how the rest of their relationship – and their office shenanigans – blossoms! <3
> 
> I almost named this “In(cock)gnito” and I ca n n ot wit h my se l f. 
> 
> I will neither confirm nor deny actually searching or stumbling upon anything mentioned in the fic. D o n’ t a s k m e.


End file.
